I wanted to tell you the story of the last day I spent with my dog. This was no ordinary dog. His name was Smiley. He was born in the remote village of Supai at the bottom of the grand canyon. This village is the Center of life for the Havasupai Nation of Native Americans. This is a rez dog rescue story of sorts. Smiley was one of many dogs that get born each year but have no home. He was left to his own devices and lived in the campground that hundreds of tourist flock to every day. Living of the scraps of campers and the wild food he and the pack could catch, they lived a free life. No collars no fences free to do what they please. Most of the the dogs in that environment make it no more than an a year or two. Smiley was very smart and super gentle. He loved people, they were his survival. As the years went by and smiley got older he began to draw more attention to himself. Through smarts he ascended to the alpha position of the campground pack that ran about 12-15 strong most of the time. As a guide at Havasupai for over a decade the rez dogs were a common and most welcomed friend in this beautiful place. For four years I watched him grow up before I finally took him out. Keep in mind the guides always asked permission to take a dog out. How many of my guests went home with a rez dog, talk about the ultimate Grand Canyon souvenir. By this time in my career I had personally rescued dozens of dogs from this reservation and found them homes. When I took Smiley out I had no intention of keeping him. He chose me. The company I worked for was known as the dog whisperer and rescuers of Supai. This pack followed me and my coworkers everywhere. They would hike one group out 10 miles to the trailhead and then meet the next group and hike right back in the same day. These are amazing dogs. While in camp they would follow us around and do everything we would do. Smiley being the most loyal and attentive.
So after around four years of this, Smiley is now alpha and the locals were taking notice. Even though he was not aggressive the pack was. The locals saw him as the ring leader so his number was up. Once a year the tribe goes through and catches a bunch of wild ones for euthanasia. The sick or annoying ones are the targets. My coworkers and I could not let this happen to Smiley so we took him out. It took about a half pound of jerky to get him in the van for his first car ride ever but it was a success. I took him home. I started looking for a suitable home but within a few days I knew I was going to keep him. He was my first Dog.
As my dog, he was great. For the first few years of having him, strangers would randomly come up to me overjoyed and excited, ‘is that Smiley from Supai!?’ He had a following. How many of my friends keep pictures of this dog on there nightstand or dresser or desk instead of there own dog. He was an epic dog. Always by my side he never need a leash or a fenced in yard. He loved people even when 50 boy scouts would surround him petting and groping him he had nothing but love. He he ate it up. He got along with dogs that didn’t get along with other dogs. His talent for being calm and non aggressive was unparalleled. I had him for another four plus years. One day when I was on a long stretch of 11 days straight at Supai. He left this world. I lived with my wife and four kids on a ten acre parcel on old historic Route 66. keep in mind when I was home he was glued to my side. The road was pretty far from the house but on this day he walked in front of car. I did not get to say goodbye. My wife, my kids, my mother-in-law saw him leave this world. This breaks my heart- the pain they endured on that night.
So fast forward a year and a half, a was experiencing a time of many changes. I separated from my wife and family. I bought acreage on the other side of the mountain. I retired from guiding and took an old job. I was living and working at the bottom of the Canyon. When I first arrived here in 2008 I worked at Phantom Ranch at river mile 88 of the Grand Canyon. The only lodging in the entire canyon below the rim. The first time I was there I spent 2.5 years living at the bottom. This time around I lasted 3 months 🙂 and this brings us to the actual story. The last Day I spent with Smiley.
I am an empath, especially with nature and animals. In the three months I was back living at the bottom things were starting to catch up with me. The fear and realization I might lose my kids was the same pain I felt over Smiley. I started involuntarily fasting. My sleep was way off. My energy was through the roof however. The downloads, the visions, the knowing so much was coming through. While going deeper and deeper into trance like states, a part of my consciousness was stepping further and further away. The grief, the guilt, I was working through these emotions as fast as could. I was unafraid of stepping away, I welcomed it. I was praying for guidance, I was dancing to the sun. I eventually arrived at a state were I was just gone. My body was here, I could communicate but my mind gone. I wasn’t angry or violent I was more like a kid fully conscious seeing this beautiful earth for the first time. I was running around barefoot, wild without a leash. I was completely unaware of my behavior or how people would see it. In a day of the dead kind of way, I burned my favorite 8×10 photo of Smiley in the fire place. I sat there next to the fire place for hours fully expecting my dog to rise from the ashes, just jump right out of that fire and rejoin me. Eventually I went for a walk outside. Walking along bright angle creek, in this historic place, a place that Smiley had never ever saw, I heard the rattle of his collar. I wondered for a second if I was hearing things. I am not claire-audient but by now it didn’t matter. It was all getting to woo woo. Even though I couldn’t see him. He was running around the ranch that day with me. I whistled and call for him but he was way to busy sniffing out this place I had so much history with but was new to him. I did many loops on the walkways hoping from boulder to boulder. I was ready to run him up to the Sipapuni at ribbon falls. But the ranch was enough to keep him entertained.
Shortly after Smiley’s visit, I had had to much. I walked down and checked myself in with the paramedic ranger on duty. A friend of mine I have broken bread with and known a decade or so. I told him how I was feeling off and explained the I was grieving and hadn’t been eating or sleeping etc. The room was filled with so many colors of all the Auras of my friends in the room. Ranger Ed assured me I was gonna be alright, that he had seen this kind of thing before. He called in for a medical chopper and within a few minutes I left completely. Next my body started Seizing. I have no history of epilepsy or anything like this in my 40 plus years on this earthwalk. First I was flown to the rim as is protocol. Next they sent a second chopper that took me to Flagstaff. Still unable to stop my seizing I was flown a third time to Phoenix where I woke up a few days later. They had to put me into a medically induced coma. Now they needed me awake for a cat scan. The cat scan came up fine, my X’rays fine, my toxicology fine. No explanation was found or given and a day later I was discharged with a six month supply of anti-seizure medication.
This experience would be a major pivot in my life. It seemed as if spirit had intervened and said ‘Nope, not that way’. As a result of my episode. My behavior was deemed inappropriate by the big LLC that runs all concessions in Grand Canyon National Park. I was let go from my job, my housing, my close friends who live there. As the medical bills started coming in, my grand total for my 2.5 day stay in the hospital and my 3 chopper flights around 150,000 dollars, all of which I remember very little. The memories I do have were so intense and vivid. I would describe them more as visions, downloads, a connection to spirit, an awakening of sorts. Have to laugh about it right.
A year has gone by now. If you were to ask me, was it worth it? You bet your ass! The knowing that smiley was still with me. His spirit was living on in perfect Smiley fashion. Priceless. I also feel I am where I am supposed to be. My small homestead about 30 miles from the rim of the canyon. A tiny home living off grid, growing the community around me. I have had no other seizures and never needed the medication. I have shared custody of my kids. The fears and anxieties that led me to that experience have all but abated. I still miss Smiley. I still cry, but it’s a bit different. Part of me is healed by the knowing.
After 2.5 years since Smiley left, I finally have a new puppy!
Thank you for letting me share. There may be a sentence or 2 I would omit before the story is shared. but I felt inclined to share it in this way.
Can we share your story?: You can share my story on your site.
–John